High Probability Prospecting Offers Reviewed Here

We invite you to submit your High Probability Prospecting Offer as a comment on this post.  Jacques Werth and/or Carl Ingalls may review your prospecting offer and provide suggestions on how it can be made more consistent with High Probability Prospecting.

We also invite other readers to comment on people’s prospecting offers.  Many of our readers are very knowledgeable about High Probability Prospecting.

Before you submit a prospecting offer for review, keep in mind these points.

  • Review Guidelines for Creating a High Probability Prospecting Offer (a previous post on this blog).
  • Add a comment to this blog post, and include your prospecting offer in your comment.
  • Before you click on the button to submit your comment, you may want to click on the checkbox that says “Notify me of followup comments via e-mail”.
  • Submit only one prospecting offer at a time.  If you put more than one prospecting offer in your comment, we are less likely to respond.
  • Do not include any hyperlinks in the body of your comment.  You may enter a hyperlink in the text box labeled “URI” if you wish.
  • Your comment (and any replies to it) will be public, available for anyone to see.  You may use your real name and your real company name if you want, or you may use an alias instead, like “This is John Doe of ABC Company.”

Please note that this is an experiment.  We don’t know how well it will work.  If it turns out well, we may continue it.  If not, we may remove this post and all comments.

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High Probability Prospecting Offers Reviewed Here

108 thoughts on “High Probability Prospecting Offers Reviewed Here

  1. Gary Throop says:

    Prospecting Offer:
    This is GT with EJ Investments in Ptsdam.

    We’re offering a municipal bond for sale today that pays 4% interest. The bond is investment grade and the income is free from U.S. taxes.

    Is that something you want for your portfolio?

    Like

    1. Hello Gary,

      Your offer is pretty good, but I think it can be improved.

      What is the purpose of the words “for sale today”? Do those words add anything factual that is not obvious? Is this bond for sale only today?

      I get the feeling that the words are there only to create a sense of urgency within the potential buyer. We consider this a form of manipulation, and we do our best to avoid that.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

    2. Ory Canal says:

      Hello,,,My name is Ory canal with LTG-trading,,,,we are offering a 5 cd set of Technical Trading in Commodities. We offer Principals of trading that have been in all markets sincethe beginning. We would like you to Preview these for us. Thankyou ty Jacques For the Priveledge Ory

      Like

  2. Edward Barba says:

    This is Edward Barba I’m a local Broker, I work with businesses to improve their Health insurance situations, Is THIS SOMETHING YOU WOULD WANT?

    Like

    1. Edward,

      The offer is too vague and general. Here are some ways you can be more specific.

      What kind of “broker” are you?

      What do you do to improve a business’s health insurance situations?

      Jacques

      Like

      1. Edward Barba says:

        Do I just say I’m a health insurance broker that helps business people to have better coverage for the price. Is this something you want?

        Like

        1. Edward,

          That offer is still too vague and general. Be more specific about something that you actually do. Also, we recommend that you avoid using the word “help” in your prospecting offer.

          Carl Ingalls

          Like

          1. Edward Barba says:

            This Edward Barba a local life and health broker. I offer ways to reduce financial exposure in healthcare coverage. Is this something you want?

            Like

          2. Edward,

            When I look for what you actually do, all I see is that you “offer ways”. The rest is about a potential or promised outcome for the client, which does not belong in a High Probability Prospecting Offer (unless you guarantee that outcome).

            You might have more success if you review the 4 parts of a High Prob Prospecting offer that are described in the Guidelines post. It is often helpful to put each of those 4 parts on a separate line, where the lines are numbered so that you keep better track of the individual concepts.

            Carl Ingalls

            Like

          3. Edward Barba says:

            How this.
            This is Edward Barba local health insurance Broker over at Healthcare Solutions, we design health coverage plans using the leading health carriers in the state. Is THIS SOMETHING YOU WANT?

            Like

    2. Hello Edward,

      A High Probability Prospecting Offer is specific and concrete. We ask a very definite question at the end.

      We ask, “Is this something you want?”

      We never ask, “Is this something you would want?”

      When you include the word “would” in that question, it makes the question too tentative.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  3. Vince V. says:

    This is Vince with BVRM, a firm specializing in vendor risk management. I am offering a web based system that screens all domestic and international vendors, and also stores required documents like insurance certificates. Is this something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Vince,

      Please review the 4 parts of a High Prob Prospecting offer that are described in the Guidelines post. It is often helpful to put each of those 4 parts on a separate line, where the lines are numbered so that you keep better track of the individual concepts.

      I believe it would be better to take the “vendor risk management” wording out of Part 1 (which identifies your name and company name), and put that into Part 2 (which identifies what you are selling).

      For instance, you could say:
      1. This is Vince with BVRM.
      2. I am offering a vendor risk management system.
      3. It is web based
      4. and it screens all domestic and international vendors.
      Is that something you want?

      Your third feature, “stores required documents like insurance certificates”, can be reserved for use in a future prospecting offer.

      However, if this “vendor risk management system” is the only thing you are selling, then it might be better to narrow Part 2 down to something very specific (and only part of what you do), so that your prospecting offers don’t sound too similar.

      It is better to get a “No” because you are too specific, than to be repetitive. People stop listening when you get repetitive. You need to be able to call again and again, and have them still listen to you.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  4. Steve Alexander says:

    Offer:
    This is Steve Alexander with ENG Resources. I teach people how to trade stocks and mutual funds. Every person who has completed my course and used what I teach, has made money trading. Is that something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Steve,

      Your offer is a very, very good one, and I’m not sure I can suggest anything that would make it better.

      I can suggest a way to make it a little bit more compliant with the formula that we teach for creating High Probability Prospecting Offers.

      When I break your offer into the 4 parts described in the Guidelines post, I see that there is only one feature. Your offer would follow the formula better if it had 2 features.

      Your offer might include a statement about the number of people who have completed your course (as your first feature), and then say that all of them who used what you taught them made money (as your second feature).

      This might be an improvement to your offer, because it discloses a relevant fact that someone might want to know before making a decision about taking your course.

      The only way to know for certain whether this is an improvement or not is to test it, and measure your results.

      Happy Prospecting,
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  5. Hello Ory,

    I am not sure what you are selling. It appears that you want to give away something that people will look at, and then perhaps they might decide to buy something.

    If this is the case, then what you are doing is not really selling. It’s more like marketing. The probability of a sale is too low to justify one-on-one conversations with people.

    In High Probability Prospecting, we are looking for someone who wants what we are selling. We are not looking for someone who is just thinking about it. What we do is not worth doing with “tire kickers”.

    Carl Ingalls

    Like

  6. This is Paul Eilers with The AIM Companies.

    I sell a nutritional supplement for kids and teenagers.
     
    It combines eighteen fruits and vegetables with a barley grass powder.
     
    You take it with a spoon or mix it with juice.
     
    Is that the kind of nutritional supplement you want?

    P.S. In another offer, instead of, “You take it with a spoon or mix it with juice.” I could say,

    “Four servings equals the daily recommended nine fruits and vegetables.”

    Like

    1. Hello Paul,

      Your prospecting offer is fairly good. It fits the template, in that it contains all 4 parts of a prospecting offer, as described in our earlier post titled “Guidelines for Creating a High Probability Prospecting Offer”. Also, the word count is good, at 39 words.

      The best way to improve this offer is to make it simpler. Currently, it seems over-stuffed with details. Making it simpler will probably make it shorter.

      Here are some suggestions for making it simpler.

      1. When identifying what you are selling, say it’s “for children”, instead of “for kids and teenagers”. This is simpler and more specific. The next time you call the same person with a prospecting offer for the same product, you can say it’s “for teenagers”.

      2. Say “It’s made from fruits and vegetables and barley grass” for your first feature.

      3. Say “It comes as a powder” for your second feature.

      It is important to leave important things out of your prospecting offer, so that you still have important things to say the next time you call, and then the next time after that, and so on. This is especially true when you have a limited number of items that you are selling.

      If you make all of the changes I listed above, your simpler prospecting offer will contain 29 words.

      Happy Prospecting,
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

      1. Here is a revision of my prospecting offer:

        This is Paul Eilers with The AIM Companies.

        I sell a nutritional supplement for children.

        It’s fruits, vegetables and barley grass in a powder.

        You take it with a spoon or mix it with juice.

        Is that the kind of nutritional supplement you want?

        Like

        1. Hello Paul,

          This is good enough to put in your list of offers for testing.

          Will you be selling anything other than this nutritional supplement?

          If this is the only thing you are selling, then you will need a lot of different ways of talking about it. We recommend that your prospecting offers be narrow enough that you can create 5 or 6 different prospecting offers. The offers have to be different enough so that each time you call the same person, it sounds like a new offer.

          If a person said “No” to your previous offer, you can’t ask them again if they want something that sounds like the same thing. You have to make several different sounding offers to that person before you can repeat a previous offer.

          Happy Prospecting,
          Carl Ingalls

          Like

  7. Craig Triance says:

    Offer:

    This is Craig Triance with LegalShield. We offer a service that will save your company money, help your employees and there is no out of pocket cost for you do to it. Is this something you want for your company?

    Like

    1. Hello Craig,

      Part 1 of your prospecting offer is very good. The offer identifies yourself and your company.

      However, Part 2 is missing. The offer does not identify what service you are selling in this particular offer. Without that, it’s not a High Probability Prospecting offer.

      The elements of a High Probability Prospecting Offer are described in our earlier blog post, “Guidelines for Creating a High Probability Prospecting Offer”.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  8. In a previous post on this blog, “Guidelines for Creating a High Probability Prospecting Offer” you stated:

    “Be very brief and concise. Use a maximum of 45 words in the offer. Less is better.”

    What is the ideal number of words to use in a High Probability Prospecting offer?

    Like

    1. Hello Paul,

      The ideal number of words in a prospecting offer is the smallest number of words that conveys enough information for the prospect to understand who you are and what you are selling, and also enough so that they can decide whether they want it or not.

      Most salespeople have a very difficult time creating an effective offer that contains fewer than 45 words, so that is where we have them start. Shorter, and especially simpler, works better.

      As far as we know, there is no minimum number of words, as long as you are able to include the necessary concepts.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  9. Here are several ending questions for High Probability Prospecting:

    Is that the kind of training you want?

    Is that the kind of nutritional supplement you want?

    Is that something you want for your product line?

    Is that the kind of realtor you want?

    Why not say, “Is that something you want?” for every one of your offers?

    In my case, how does asking, “Is that the kind of nutritional supplement you want?” make my offer better, rather than simply saying, “Is that something you want?”

    Like

    1. Hello Paul,

      The reason we don’t always ask “Is that something you want” for every one of our offers is that sometimes, the longer form of the question gets better results.

      We don’t know why. We’ve done some thinking about it and have some good guesses.

      However, the only way to really know which form of the question works better for any particular prospecting offer is to test both versions. Do it both ways, and track what you did and what were the results.

      Happy Prospecting,
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  10. Gary Throop says:

    This is Gary Throop with Edward Jones Investments in Potsdam.

    I provide a risk-management process for my clients that aims to control investment risk by rotating portfolio assets to offset the risk in the market, exposing the portfolio to stocks when it pays, and protecting it when the market is dangerous.

    Is that the kind of investment management you want?

    Like

    1. Gary,

      High Probability Prospecting (HPP) offers are seldom effective if they run over 45 words, or if they have too many things for most prospects to immediately grasp. They are more effective when the offers are frequent and ever-changing.

      Here is a shortened version of your HPP Offer that might work with your prospects.

      This is Gary Throop, with Edward Jones Investments in Potsdam.
      I provide risk-management strategies
      that aim to minimize investment risk
      by appropriately rotating portfolio assets.
      [25 words]
      Is that the kind of investment management you want?

      Jacques
      +1-610-566-1535

      Like

  11. Joel Taylor says:

    This is Joel Taylor from Cordial Realty. I’m a Realtor that specializes in buying properties for investment. I can buy your house at 123 Elm street , as is and close in 30 days. Is this a service you want?

    Like

    1. Steve Alexander says:

      Excellent offer, IMO.

      How about this one?

      This is Joel Taylor from Cordial Realty. I want to buy your property at 123 Elm Street, as is, for $255,000. Is that something you want?

      Like

      1. Joel Taylor says:

        Joel Taylor Ok, in my business I need to see the inside of the property before I can make the offer, because it may look like I can offer $255,000 from the outside but after seeing the inside I can only offer $200,000. How would I structure my offer then.
        Like · about an hour ago

        Like

        1. Steve Alexander says:

          Hmmm, sounds like your original offer was a bit misleading. I thought it meant you were ready to buy the property. Sounds like what you really meant was.

          This is Joel Taylor with Cordial Realty. I specialize in buying investment property. I can usually close within 30 days. Do you want to sell your house at 123 Elm Street?

          Like

    2. Hello Joel,

      High Probability Prospecting is part of selling. What you are doing is buying, not selling. Although the principles of High Probability Selling can be applied to buying (and many other things), the details are different, and therefore this is outside of the scope of this article.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

    3. Joel,

      One of the principles of High Prob is to be very, very clear about what you are doing. For instance, if you are actually going to be the buyer of the property, that should be made very clear. Or, if you are going to find someone else to be the buyer, then you should be extremely clear about that.

      If you are not clear and truthful about what you are doing, it’s not High Prob.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

      1. Joel Taylor says:

        I understand, I actually buy some of the properties I come across, the others I give to my partner( of the same company) for him to buy. Seems like I have some work to do. Back to the drawing board I go!

        Like

  12. Robert Schrier says:

    This is my 29 word High Probability Prospecting offer. I’m calling business owners who have an existing 401(k) plan.

    This is Robert Jones with XYZ Insurance.
    We provide customized evaluations of 401(k) plans and offer ways to:
    Reduce administrative burdens… and increase on-going service and fiduciary support.
    Is this something you want?

    Like

    1. Robert,

      The wording in the 3rd line of the prospecting offer above is obscure. I assume that the word “burdens” might mean “less expensive” but I’m not sure that’s what you mean.

      “… and increase on-going service and fiduciary support.” reads like 2 different features, for a total of three (2 works, 3 do not work) and most CEOs and even CFOs would be stymied by that language.

      If it’s not clear and concise it’s not High Probability Prospecting.

      Like

      1. Robert Schrier says:

        Jacques,

        Thanks for your help. I’ve rewritten the script. 32 words, tried to make it more clear and concise. Any comments?

        This is Robert S. with XYZ Insurance.
        We offer a Retirement Plan Assessment.
        It shows how competitive your plan costs are…
        and if there is an opportunity to drive down those costs.
        Is this something you want?

        Like

  13. Steve Alexander says:

    Robert,

    As a prospect, I’d be thinking to myself:
    “Competitive compared to what?”
    “What does your service cost?”
    “How much could I save – maybe?”
    “What do you mean by “opportunity to drive down those costs?”
    “How would I go about driving down the costs?”
    “Can you do that, or do I have to talk to someone else?”

    If you can answer some or any of these in your offer, it would be more likely to get my attention.

    For example, “This is Robert with XYZ. I can analyze your retirement plan and show you how to save at least 10%. My service costs $500. Is this something you want?”

    Steve

    Like

  14. Robert S. says:

    Here is another rewrite of the 401(k) script. 32 words. Is this a good High Probability offer?

    This is Robert S. with XYZ Insurance.
    We offer 401(k) plans…
    That provide on-site education seminars…
    And online calculators… to mitigate employer fiduciary liability… and help participants make informed investment decisions.
    Is that something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Robert,

      It sounds like you are saying that the 401(k) plans provide the education seminars, and that these plans also provide the online calculators. Find a way to make your true meaning clear in a more obvious way.

      It might help if you follow the four-line format that is described in our previous post, titled “Guidelines for Creating a High Probability Prospecting Offer”.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  15. Steve Alexander says:

    Robert S,

    That offer wouldn’t get my attention. I think it’s waay too general. I don’t get anything concrete from it.

    You offer 401(k) plans. That’s nice. So do 100 other companies. Why is yours better?

    “On-site education seminars” – for whom? Employees? Staff? Me? Is there a cost to me?

    “Mitigate employer fiduciary liability” – sounds like you’re trying to scare me with big words.

    “Online calculators” – What sort of calculators? Why would I want an online calculator? I have a calculator on my desk.

    Help participants make informed investment decisions” – Informed according to whom? Ask 100 “investors” and you’ll get 100 different ideas about good/bad investments.

    “Is that something you want?” Good finish! That’s the right question.

    Cheers,

    Steve

    Like

  16. Robert S.

    You wrote above,
    “We offer 401(k) plans…That provide on-site education seminars…” In plain English, how do “401k plans provide on-site education seminars?”

    What does this mean? “And online calculators… to mitigate employer fiduciary liability… ”

    People seldom buy, if they don’t clearly understand what you are offering.

    Like

  17. Robert S. says:

    Thanks for your comments. This is tougher than I thought. Here’s another rewrite of the script. 32 words. Any suggestions?

    1- This is Robert S. with XYZ Insurance.
    2- We offer 401(k) plans.
    3- We provide a wide range of diversified quality funds.
    4- And on-going participant education, to help employees invest successfully for retirement.
    Is that something you want in your 401(k) plan?

    Like

  18. Steve Alexander says:

    Robert S,

    Yes, it is tougher than you might think. Most salesmen are not accustomed to being ruthlessly honest. Hang in there. Here’s an example to start:

    “This is Robert S with XYZ Insurance. We offer 401(k) plans that can be ready in 10 days. Our plans have 40 different mutual funds to choose from. Is that something you want?”

    I don’t your real parameters, but perhaps you can get an idea from this.

    HPS is mostly about telling the whole truth, especially things you’d rather sugarcoat. The idea is to give the unvarnished facts and ask if they want it.

    Steve

    Like

  19. Azie says:

    Hi everyone, How is this?

    “This is Steve with Xchange Telecom. We offer Internet and telephone service that is stable, reliable and will save your company money. Is that something you want?”

    Like

    1. Azie,

      Your offer says three things about your Internet and telephone service:
      – stable
      – reliable
      – will save your company money

      None of these things qualify as features in a High Probability Prospecting Offer. They need to be a lot more concrete.

      For instance, if the offer had said that the service uptime is 99.99% or better, that would be a concrete feature about stability and reliability.

      In general, if it’s a matter of judgment or opinion, it’s not a feature.

      Jacques

      Like

  20. Robert S. says:

    Is this a good High Probability 29 word annuity offer?

    This is Robert S. with XYZ Insurance.
    We offer tax-deferred retirement annuities.
    They guarantee your principal from market losses…
    and provide you an income for life in retirement.
    Is that something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Robert,

      Your offer is improving. I see concrete features now, instead of benefits.

      However, your offer seems over-stuffed, as if you are trying to say too many things at once.

      It is important to leave things out of your offer. It makes the offer simpler and easier for the prospect to understand. Also, it leaves you plenty of features to use for the next time you call that prospect, and for the time after that, and so on.

      Here are the things you say about the annuities:
      – tax-deferred
      – retirement
      – guaranteed principle
      – income for life
      – retirement

      It’s far too much. Also, “retirement” is repeated.

      Keep working at it. You’re getting better.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

      1. Robert S. says:

        Thanks Carl. Here is a less stuffed 22 word rewrite. Is this a good High Probability offer?

        This is Robert S. with XYZ Insurance.
        We offer fixed annuities.
        Your principal is guaranteed from losses.
        The interest is tax-deferred.
        Is that something you want?

        Like

        1. Robert,

          There are still a few improvements needed before you start testing this offer.

          1. Only offer one thing in a single prospecting offer. Offer “a fixed annuity”, not a plurality of them. It’s more concrete and specific.

          2. Avoid using the words “you” or “your” or “yours” in the body of the offer. The only exception is in the question you ask after you have stated your offer.

          3. Now that the offer has been stripped of excess concepts and words, you can add a few words that will make the existing concepts clearer. For instance, you might make it clearer what you mean by a “fixed annuity”, or what you mean by “tax-deferred”.

          Carl Ingalls

          Like

          1. Robert S. says:

            Carl, here’s another 29 word rewrite incorporating your suggestions. Is this one a good HP offer?

            This is Robert S. with XYZ Insurance.
            We offer a tax-deferred annuity.
            The principal is guaranteed from losses.
            Taxes are not paid on interest earned until it’s withdrawn.
            Is that something you want?

            Like

          2. Robert,

            It’s getting better. I’m going to ask Jacques Werth for some help on this one. He knows a lot more than I do about annuities. We will get back to you.

            Carl Ingalls

            Like

          3. Robert S. says:

            Here’s revised 28 word script. Is this a good HP offer?

            This is Robert S. with The XYZ Life Insurance Company.
            We offer a retirement annuity for conservative investors.
            It provides safety of principal…
            And guaranteed tax-deferred growth.
            Is that the type of retirement annuity you want?

            Like

          4. Robert’s High Probability Prospecting Offer is good to go – if there is actually something titled a ” Retirement Annuity for Conservative Investors.”

            Otherwise he can make it legal by revising it and adding a few more words.

            P.S. It’s an “offer.” It’s not a “script.”

            Like

          5. Robert S. says:

            Jacques there is actually nothing titled “A Retirement Annuity for Conservative Investors”. Is this a more appropriate way to make the 29 word HP offer?

            This is Robert S. with The XYZ Insurance Company. I work with conservative investors.
            We offer a retirement annuity that…
            Provides safety of principal…
            And guaranteed tax-deferred growth.
            Is that the type of retirement annuity you want.

            Like

  21. Eric says:

    This is my High Probability Prospecting Proposal, what do you think?

    This is Eric with K Recovery Solutions. We help businesses and healthcare organizations recover delinquent and slow paying accounts. We do it for a flat fee averaging $15.00 per account, regardless of the balance owed. Is that something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Eric,

      If you actually guarantee that you will “recover delinquent and slow paying accounts”, then your offer should say that directly.

      If you only do something to make this outcome more likely, then you should be very clear about what it is that you actually do in order to “help business and healthcare organizations”. Something concrete.

      We advise people to avoid using the word “help” in their prospecting offers. The word leads to vague offers.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

      1. Eric says:

        Carl,

        Thanks for the advice.

        Is this an improvement;

        This is Eric with K Recovery. We recover delinquent and slow paying accounts. We do this for a flat fee averaging $15.00 per account. Everyone who has used our service as instructed has increased their cash flow significantly. is that something you want?

        PS.
        We do offer a guarantee but I haven’t decided how to include it in my offer>

        Like

  22. Robert S. says:

    Is this a good 35 word HP Prospecting offer?

    This is Robert S. with the XYZ Insurance Company.
    We offer a 30 year term life policy.
    It provides an income tax-free death benefit…
    That can be used to pay off a home mortgage.
    Is that the type of insurance you want?

    Like

    1. Robert S. says:

      Jacques. Here’s a rewrite. Is this a better HP offer. The list that will be called is homeowners who closed on a mortgage in the last 3 years.

      This is Robert S. with the XYZ Insurance Company.
      We offer a 30 year term life policy.
      It provides an income tax-free death benefit to your family…
      That can be used for any purpose such as paying off a home mortgage.
      (Alternate line) The funds can be used to pay a home mortgage or other financial obligations.
      Is that something you want?

      Like

      1. Robert S. says:

        Carl And Jacques. Here’s another rewrite. 35 words. I took out the term “can be used”. Is this a good HP prospecting offer?

        This is Robert S. with The XYZ Insurance Company.
        I sell a 30 year term life insurance policy that…
        Provides funds in the event of death.
        Financial obligations like a mortgage can be paid off.
        Is that the type of insurance you want?

        Like

        1. Robert S. says:

          Jacques and Carl, here’s another 37 word rewrite. I took out the word “can” in the 4th line. Is this a better HP offer?

          This is Robert S. with The XYZ Insurance Company.
          I sell a 30 year term life insurance policy that…
          At death provides funds to cover a mortgage payment.
          The proceeds are available to pay other financial obligations.
          Is that the type of insurance policy you want?

          Like

  23. Hello Robert S.

    In your comment dated 31 Dec 2014, you proposed the following offer:

    This is Robert S. with The XYZ Insurance Company. I work with conservative investors.
    We offer a retirement annuity that…
    Provides safety of principal…
    And guaranteed tax-deferred growth.
    Is that the type of retirement annuity you want.

    There is something in that offer that is not part of a High Probability Prospecting offer. If you break your offer down into the 4 parts that are described in the Guidelines post, and make sure you number each part, you may find something that does not fit.

    We would like to encourage you, and also everyone who submits prospecting offers for our review, to label each part of their prospecting offer.

    Something like this:
    1.
    2.
    3.
    4.

    Q.

    When people do this, problems with the offer often become more obvious.

    Carl Ingalls

    Like

    1. Robert S. says:

      Carl,
      I see two possible ways to go with this offer to make it more compliant with HP principals.
      1 – Delete the term in line 1 “I work with conservative investors”. Leave everything else untouched.
      Another option is the following rewritten 28 word offer. Is this a good HP offer?

      1 – This is Robert S. with The XYZ Insurance Company.
      2 – I sell a retirement annuity.
      3 – Designed for conservative investors.
      4 – It provides safety of principal with guaranteed tax-deferred growth.
      Q – Is that the type of retirement annuity you want?

      Like

      1. Robert,

        Your offer contains too many features. Here is a list of the ones I see:

        – designed for conservative investors
        – safety of principal
        – guaranteed growth
        – tax-deferred growth

        It is good to have a lot of features, just not all in the same offer. Divide them up into different offers.

        Carl Ingalls

        Like

        1. Robert S. says:

          Carl,

          I’ll break up the 4 features and use only 2 in each offer.
          Question: Can I add to the following words to the feature to make it more descriptive or are less words better? They all still come in under 36 words. Example:
          1- Designed for conservative investors:
          (who don’t want risk losing money) or
          (who want guarantees) or
          (who want to pay less taxes)
          It provides:
          2- Safety of principal: (so the value never decreases)
          3- Guaranteed growth: (regardless of market performance)
          4- Tax-deferred growth: (on the money that’s not withdrawn)

          Like

  24. Robert S. says:

    Here is a new 27 word offer. Is it compliant with HPP guidelines?

    This is Robert S. with XYZ Securities. (9)
    We offer an investment advisory service. (6)
    It provides a personal investment strategy… (6)
    And access to prominent money managers. (6)
    Is that something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Robert,

      Your offer does seem to follow the guidelines. The next thing to do is to see if it works. That can only be done by testing it out, while keeping good records.

      Happy Prospecting,
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  25. Johnny C says:

    How about this…?

    This is Johnny C with ABC Financial Group (8)
    I manage investments for business owners and professionals (8)
    who don’t have the time or knowledge to do it themselves (11)
    Is this something you want? (5)

    Thanks in advance

    Like

    1. Hello Johnny C,

      Your offer says more about your prospects and customers than it says about what you are offering. This is not a bad thing. It is just a different kind of offer than what was described in the Guidelines for Creating a High Probability Prospecting Offer.

      If you want, you can test your offer, and compare results with an offer that follows the guidelines more closely.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

      1. Johnny C says:

        Carl, Very true. Thanks for your speedy response. I did read your response right away, then have been digesting the reply and guidelines (which I thought I followed, but didn’t).

        I’m resisting falling into the trap of being everything to everybody. There is a lot I do as a Financial Advisor (In the offer, I narrowed it to “investments), but I can use the other services for other offers. In the investment management space, I can offer different strategies such as a conservative portfolio strategy, or ETF’s, etc. Also there’s annuities, mutual funds. Financial Advisor hat can offer term life insurance, disability insurance.

        Another challenge is I’m not able to guarantee many things in the advising world. So a true and honest statement is qualitative. But staying with “managing investments topic to those that can’t really do it themselves” (In targeting these individuals, I’m looking to carve out a niche and duplicate those I already serve) ….

        This is Johnny C with the ABC Financial Group (9)
        I manage investments for business owners and professionals (8)
        Who have limited time or knowledge to do it themselves (10)
        My approach controls risk, buys below value and holds long term (11)
        Is this a service you want? (6)
        (44) (doing my best to not use industry jargon)

        Here’s another in a similar niche, but again, says more about my prospects than what I am offering.

        This is Johnny C with the ABC Financial Group (9)
        I manage investments for business owners and professionals (8)
        Who have idle and neglected investment accounts (7)
        that would benefit from an advisor’s guidance (7)
        Is this a service you want? (6)
        (37)

        I know, I know, I’m not going to know if this works by hanging out on the message boards…but just wanted to follow up on your recommendation to my first offer.

        Also, when you say “test an offer,” what would be the numbers in the sample?

        Thanks so much!

        Johnny

        Like

        1. Johnny C:

          This is Johnny C with the ABC Financial Group (11)
          I manage investments for business owners and professionals (8)
          My approach controls risk by buying below value (8)
          and holding long term (4)
          (31 word total)

          Is that the kind of financial service you want?

          I suggest that you leave out “Who have idle and neglected investment accounts” unless those are the only kind clients you want. If you want to use that in another offer, you can; then it would work if you change the theme of that offer.

          Like

  26. Jeff Anderton says:

    This is Jeff Anderton with Everstaff. We create staffing and recruiting relationships with companies in Berks County. Our contracts include competitive pricing and flexible conversion terms. Is this something you want to set up with us?

    36 words total. This would be for temp and temp to hire prospects. Appreciate feedback.

    Like

    1. Jeff,

      First, thanks to Steve Alexander and Johnny C for their good suggestions.

      A High Probability Prospecting Offer focuses on features, not benefits. For a service, this means things that you do, not things that might happen as a result of what you do. A “relationship” is a benefit (a potential outcome that is positive). It’s not what you do, and it’s not a feature of what you do.

      This is the opposite of what many other selling methods do. They tell you to sell on benefits, not features. However, this does not work with High Prob.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  27. Steve Alexander says:

    Jeff, From your offer, I have no idea of what you sell. The name of your company is the only thing that gives me a clue about what you do. If your company is a temporary staffing agency, I suggest something like:

    “This is Jeff Anderton with Everstaff. We find people to work for you, and check them out so you don’t have to. Is that something you want?”

    Like

  28. Johnny C says:

    I agree with Steve. My two cents are “competitive pricing and flexible conversion turns” are not quantifiable. Competitive and flexible to one person, is not competitive and flexible enough for another person. I don’t know how your business works…but quantifiable may be “Our employees cost $3.00 over minimum wage…or are trained in oil and gas.” Those are poor features on my part, but hope this helps.

    Like

  29. This is Julius Csizmazia with JULIUS MAGIC.

    We sell Sales Training programs that are interactive and easy to set up.

    Do you want a Sales Training program that’s interactive and easy to set up?

    Like

    1. Hello Julius,
      I recommend that you use a numbered list when designing a High Probability Prospecting offer, and not try to write it as a paragraph. Use exactly the same format that is described in the post on Guidelines for Creating a High Probability Prospecting Offer.

      1. Your name and your company’s name.
      2. The basic thing that you are selling.
      3. A feature about what you are selling.
      4. A second feature about what you are selling.

      Most people get it right a lot faster when they use that format.

      Carl Ingalls

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Karl,

        Thank you for your comments. Here’s my rewrite:

        1. This is Julius Csizmazia with JULIUS MAGIC.
        2. I sell sales training programs.
        3. The program is presented at the business’s location.
        4. The training and materials are customized to the organization.

        Is this something you want?

        Like

        1. Hello Julius,

          That’s pretty good. It fits the format and structure very well, and is fairly short, at 29 words. It’s good enough to put it into your pile of offers to be tested. You will learn a lot more from the questions people ask.

          You will probably get better results if you find a way to make your offer more distinctive from what everyone else is offering. This is rather generic. But it is worth testing.

          Carl Ingalls
          High Probability Consulting

          Like

  30. Ian Clark says:

    (Face to face with an already appointed prospect . . .)

    I am Ian Clark, a Senior Registered Audiologist with Hidden Hearing for over 10 years.

    (The basic thing that you are selling)
    I specialise in helping people improve their hearing ability using the latest in hearing aid technology.

    ( A feature about what you are selling.)
    The cost of a Hearing correction treatment plan, including hearing aids, ranges from £5300 to £800 depending on what you want to achieve.

    (A second feature about what you are selling.)
    We guarantee your satisfaction and support you with a lifetime of planned aftercare.

    (Ask if this is what they want.)
    Is that what you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Ian,

      We would not use a High Probability Prospecting offer when meeting someone face-to-face by appointment. We use a completely different approach for that.

      We use High Probability Prospecting for outbound telephone prospecting. We only make appointments with people who tell us that they want what we are selling and are likely to buy from us if we can meet their requirements.

      What do you want to do?

      Carl Ingalls, HPS Consultant

      Like

  31. Ian Clark says:

    Appreciated Carl, thank you. Unfortunately my diary is what’s put in front of me despite my HPS protests and suggestions! My apps are either 30 or 60 mins and it’s up to me to do what I can. I try to use the HPS principles as best I can (this me and what I do and what I have, is that what you want) but it can be a little clumsy so not all the time. I got the HPS book many years ago when Neil (British) was also instructing. Can you guide me where to look re a pre-appointed face to face approach please, to improve my ability to immediately qualify a definite NO or identify and delay going too far if my hearing impaired patient is not yet ready for what I have (ie to stop convincing or persuading) or to get to a trust position with the ones who do want what I have? That is what I want to do. Thank you, Ian (from UK)

    Like

    1. Ian – This is a common problem. It requires a difficult decision on your part.

      If your job is to try to get the prospect to buy from you, then you have to use one of the persuasive selling methods. If your job is to discover people who are likely to buy from you (for their own reasons) and make a lot of sales, then one of the non-persuasive selling methods (like High Probability Selling) is a better choice.

      We do not have anything that has been already customized for your situation, but I do have some ideas.

      I have listed below several things you could do when you are on an appointment, along with some potential benefits and detriments for each.

      1. Use a Consultative Selling method to get the prospect to tell you his needs, and then tailor your offer to meet those needs. This is not compatible with HPS (and we do not teach it), but it is one of the mildest of the persuasive selling methods.

      2a. Use the format of an outbound High Probability prospecting offer to inform the prospect of what you can sell them, and find out if they want something you said. You are already experimenting with this. The offer tends to be very long and broad when used this way, and is likely to be taken as a pitch. Also, this format is really not designed to be presented to someone who has made an appointment to meet with you.

      2b. Use the format of an inbound High Probability prospecting offer to discover what the prospect wants, while avoiding any attempt to influence the prospect. This is not described in the book, but it will be taught in future sales training workshops on Prospecting With High Probability.

      3. Skip the prospecting part and start out with the selling process that is described in the book (Chapters 7, 8, and 9). You may need to modify it a bit, to make up for the fact that a lot of the steps in High Probability Prospecting were omitted by whoever made the appointment.

      4. Get some private coaching from an expert in HPS on how to do this. It is more expensive than reading the book, but it is a lot faster. For details, go to the main website and click on Training.

      What do you want to do?

      Carl Ingalls
      High Probability Consulting

      Like

  32. S Barbara says:

    The is S Barbara from ABC Leadscon.

    We sell a Done-For-You Client Lead service for executive women coaches.

    It provides prequalified prospects straight to your infusionsoft account using Facebook Lead Ads

    We test and publish 250 targeted Ad variations.

    Is this something you want?

    Like

    1. S Barbara,

      Your prospecting offer is pretty close to the format we teach. However, it can be improved by using words and phrases that you know will be understood by everyone you present the offer to. For instance, some may not know what you mean by “Done-For-You” or “infusionsoft” and they may feel that you are wasting their time with jargon.

      Simpler offers work better. Don’t be afraid to remove information. Clarity sells better than words do.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

      1. S Barbara says:

        The is S Barbara from ABC Leadscon.

        We sell an inbound Facebook Lead Ads service for executive women coaches.

        Prospect leads are delivered every single day directly to your email follow up account.

        They choose to receive information about your business by leaving their main email address and/or phone number – your preference.

        Is this something you want?


        ^ is this better? I reread a previous post on the format and tried to put each sentence on a different line (hope the formatting sticks…thanks for your attention)

        Like

        1. S Barbara,

          It is clearer, and thank you for separating the 4 parts of your prospecting offer.

          The offer is too long. It contains 52 words, which is considerably longer than the maximum of 45 words we allow beginners to use. Even 45 words is more than most prospects have the patience to listen to.

          There are a lot of details that can be removed from your offer. For instance, it would be enough to say that “Prospect leads are delivered daily to each client.” That is enough for the prospect to tell you whether they want something like this or not. More detail is only necessary when you are trying to convince the prospect that they should want this. But we don’t do that.

          Since you seem to be picking this up quickly, I will add another comment. We never use the words You or Your or Yours in the body of the prospecting offer. We use the word “you” (and sometimes “your”) in the question at the end, but no direct reference to the prospect before that.

          Carl Ingalls
          High Probability Consulting

          Like

          1. S Barbara says:

            Thanks! Can’t wait to dig into your books. I just want to leave a comment. I called up Carl (yes I am that kind of person) and he was very informative and helpful. I have been doing sales since I was 19 years old – had to do telemarketing to pay for a VERY EXPENSIVE college (hint hint Carl). So I am not unfamiliar with the terrain. Anyone’s selling methodology that can get me to do this is worth learning.

            Tangentially, I have been reading the libertarian classic “How I found Freedom In An Unfree World” and he talks about selling this way. So the whole idea of freedom, “giving” other people the ability to choose or not to choose to buy – without manipulation, just appeals to me.

            TX!

            Like

  33. Steven Veil says:

    Your critique is welcomed:
    This is Steven Veil with Generator Supercenter.
    We sell commercial and residential standby generators
    That provide immediate power in the event of an outage
    And provide 24 hour 7 day a week monitoring and service.
    Is this something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Steven,

      Your prospecting offer follows the structure of a High Probability Prospecting Offer very well. However, it can be improved by making it less broad. We find it works better to offer only one very specific thing in a single offer, and not try to cover more. Think of not spilling all of your candy in the lobby.

      For example, in one offer you might say you sell commercial standby generators. Then you would put the residential standby generators in a separate offer.

      I presume you sell models that provide different power levels. You may get better results if each of your offers covers a fairly narrow range of power output.

      You may be wondering what happens if the prospect does want a standby generator, just not the particular one you are offering. If they want it now, they will speak up and tell you, now. If they are merely interested, that means they are not ready to buy yet. The best thing for you to do in that case is to go away, and call someone else. You will call that same prospect again in 3-4 weeks with a different offer for a completely different standby generator. Maybe it is still not exactly what they want. It doesn’t matter. If they want a standby generator, they will tell you what they want, and they will ask you if you sell it. If they don’t do this, it means they still aren’t ready to buy. Your time is better spent making more calls.

      Happy Prospecting,
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  34. Steven Veil says:

    A second option, again, I look forward to any comments.

    This is Steven Veil with Generator Supercenter.
    We sell standby generators
    They can be used in a residential or commercial setting
    And provide immediate power in the event of an outage.
    Is this something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello again Steven,

      My comments about your second prospecting offer are very similar to my comments about your first offer. Create multiple offers, where each covers a very narrow range of what you sell.

      Also, we are currently updating the formula for designing a High Probability Prospecting Offer, so that it works better with the way people use the telephone today (which is very different from how they used the phone 20 years ago). The main difference is that we are moving to much shorter offers, between 20 and 30 words. This means that we often include only 1 feature in the offer, instead of 2.

      Thank you for posting your prospecting offers.
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  35. astastar says:

    This is Asta Star from the Home Depot Water Treatment Provider.

    We sell residential water treatment.

    Made in the USA with

    Long warranties.

    Is that something you want?

    NOTE: I feel like this is a little long. The Home Depot Water Treatment Provider takes up 6 words so I feel like to cannot go into lots of features. What should I do?

    Like

    1. Asta Star:

      When you identify yourself at the beginning of your offer, the “Home Depot Water Treatment Provider” sounds more like a description of who you are, and less like the name of a company. In the identification part of the prospecting offer, it is important to use real names. The name might have some descriptive characteristics, or it might not, but it has to be something real. If you (or your company) are endorsed by or working with Home Depot, then that is a feature of what you do, not part of who you are.

      I suspect that “residential water treatment” covers a huge amount of what you sell, and perhaps everything. We recommend that you offer only one very specific thing at a time. The next time you call the same person, you will offer a different very specific item, and ask if that’s something they want. If they want something you haven’t offered yet, they will tell you. This is especially true when they are ready to buy.

      If you offer a complete package, with very specific items in that package, then this can be one of your offers. In that case, you might offer “a complete water treatment package for homes”. Just be careful that you are not offering a one-size-fits-all sort of package. It has to be specific. If a prospect says no to that, then it only means they do not want that particular complete package right now, and they are not saying “No” to everything you sell.

      Your first feature is clear. You might add a word or two for clarity, and say “It is made in the USA.”

      Your second feature contains a vague word that is subject to opinion. Instead of saying that a warranty is “long” it is better to give an exact warranty period. If the item you are offering can be purchased with different warranty lengths, then you can say “with warranties from 6 years to 12 years.”

      Happy Prospecting,
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  36. astastar says:

    My name is Asta Star from Water Works.
    We sell residential water treatment.
    The equipment is custom made to your water specs,
    Made here in Colorado.
    Is that something you want?

    Like

    1. Hello Asta,

      Thank you for submitting your prospecting offer for review.

      When you identify yourself on the telephone, it is best to start with “This is Asta Star”. The results are better than if you say “My name is Asta Star”.

      Prospecting results are also better when your offer is about something very specific, and does not encompass a lot of what you sell. The next time you call the same prospect, you will offer something that they didn’t already say No to. And then again and again, each time with something new.

      We have also found that we get better results when we do not include any of the following words in the prospecting offer: you, your, yours.

      The only time we mention you or your, is in the question we ask at the end of the offer.

      Happy Prospecting,
      Carl Ingalls

      Like

  37. 1. This is Francois Janssen from MyConsulting.
    2. a) I coach small business owners to make their business more valuable so it will sell for more.
    3. Is that something you want?

    Different variations to be used:
    b) I coach small business owners to work less in their business so it becomes more valuable so it will sell for more.
    c) I coach small business owners to make their operations more efficient so their business will become more valuable so it will sell for more.
    d) a b or c with the ending: so it will sell more quickly.

    Like

    1. Hello François,

      If possible, it is better to offer something that a client can get from you, rather than something that you do. For instance, “I coach” is something you do, whereas “coaching” is something they get. One way to say this is “I provide coaching …”

      Also, if you can find a way to say the same thing in fewer words, that would be better. For instance, you can try something like this:

      This is François Janssen from MyConsulting.
      I provide coaching in how to increase the sale value of a small business.
      Is that something you want?

      Remember to pause at the end of each line, and also to use a neutral tone of voice.

      Carl Ingalls

      Like

      1. Thank you Carl. And what about the necessary variations on this offer? Because they make the offer longer:

        I provide coaching on how to work less to increase the sale value of a small business. (Result)

        Or would a feature be better?

        I provide coaching with weekly sessions to increase the sale value of a small business. (Feature)

        Like

        1. François,

          It is better to talk about features instead of results when doing High Probability Prospecting.  Let the prospect see the connection between features and results, without you explaining that to them.

          The reason we avoid long offers is that they tend to be complicated.  We teach people to count words because that is a lot easier to measure than complexity.  But the real problem is having an offer that has too many concepts in it.  It takes experience to develop a feel for when an offer needs to be made simpler.

          Carl Ingalls

          Liked by 1 person

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